Those of you who follow Canadian news sources may have noticed a few days ago, that once again Tracy Latimer's murderer (her father) was in the news. He's asking for a new trial because he deserves to be free. Apparently the courts haven't been lenient enough on him with his early day parole. I make no bones about my dislike of sympathy for the man. He is every bit the murderer and justice applies just as much in this case as in any other murder.

A few days later I came across this article: http://www.cbc.ca/canada/story/2008/05/09/cas-chemotherapy.html

I'm struggling on what to think. How much difference is there between this boy's father and Tracy's killer? At the same time, who has the right to control the treatments a person receives.

This is a child who is fully capable of communicating. Granted, he is young, but if the father is to be believed then the boy has been an active participant in the decision not to pursue treatment. I don't know where the line is.

My experiences with Chemotherapy/ Radiation / Bone Marrow Transplants are second hand and rather personal. My father contracted cancer of the bone marrow when I was five and died when I was thirteen. The ultimate cause of death was side effects from the particular chemotherapy he was on at the time. He was one of the first people to use it.

I'm not a neutral observer and am torn in many ways. The article leaves me with more questions and a deep desire to understand the nuances of the situation because it seems such an impossible choice. I can only hope an pray for the best for all those involved.

Blogging Against Disabilism

So its half past ten on blog for disability day an my cunning plans for a post have gone out the window. I had intended to focus the post on the history of disability in Canada and devote some research to those like Tracy Latimer who have been murdered because of being disabled. I think that discussing our history as people with disability is important and being aware of the violence that we face is a terrifying but important part of that history.

Instead of doing the research today, I wound up doing next to nothing. I spent a good part of yesterday running errands. There was a doctor’s appointment and some books to return to the library and a meeting at the bank. By the end of the day I was exhausted.

So today dawns with the best of intentions. Only I’m still exhausted and the cold I thought I’d kicked is back. Simple things right? A cold isn’t a big deal and is gone in a couple of days. At least that’s how it works if your basically healthy. When you’re body is already run down from a dozen issues relating to your disabilitie(s) the cold that should take two days to shake, takes more like a week.

The same idea with recouping from a busy day. That busy day doesn’t take nearly as many tasks to qualify as busy and the recovery time takes significantly longer. Energy that an able bodied person might spend without thought becomes carefully hoarded.

The hardest part of talking about this is the fight not to apologise. All my life I’ve been told not to whine about how I feel or how tired I am. I’ve been told to make apologies for how I feel rather than respect them. So I won’t apologise for for whining here, but a part of me still wants to.